Article 5 In The Series of Articles on Resurrecting The Romance

Share Love and Fear; Work and Play

Sharing your life is what you signed up for when you got married.  Remember the words of the traditional vows: for better or worse, for richer and poorer  You agreed to share everything that life brought you.

Dont get consumed in the everyday and forget to share.  Romance is not just about a weekend away on your anniversary.  Its about sharing loving moments every day.

You also want to share what makes you anxious and fearful.  If you think you might lose your job, let your spouse know, and not just for budgetary reasons.  Let her know that losing your place in the working world makes you feel less of a man.  Shell probably be able to reassure you that she is there for you where ever life takes you.

Let him know when there is someone at work that makes you uncomfortable.  It may not rise to the level where a formal sexual harassment claim would be in order, but you are unhappy with the person.  He might have suggestions on how to deal with the man.

But you should also share work and play.  

Divide the work of your life so that each person feels they are doing their portion.  This doesnt mean that everything is exactly equal.  One person may be a better cook, so having both people responsible for dinner three days a week can make no sense.  One person may have significantly more earning power but their job demands longer hours so the other one takes up the slack at home.  The key here is that both people feel that they are sharing the burdens of the relationship in a roughly equal manner.

And dont forget to share your play time.  This doesnt mean giving up a girls night out or a regular poker game with the guys, but it does mean that you spend time together doing things you both enjoy.

Schedule a date night every week and take turns planning the evening out.  These dont have to be expensive.  Window shop at the mall and have dinner at the food court.  Watch a classic movie and pop microwave popcorn.  

If you have kids and cant afford a sitter, swap date nights with another couple.  You watch their kids so they can go out one week and they do the same for you the next.

Whatever you do, spend time playing together.  It will spark the romance in your life and bring you closer together.

Article 6 in the series of articles on Resurrecting The Romance will continue tomorrow.